|
| & I MISS THE GRIT OF THE MOTHER FUCKIN' CITY!!!
do moms drive course
take comp to get fixed
clean litter box
call work for my schedule
get insurance info outa the car
call BCBS about lap band
I got the job and me and Seeley are doing good... I'm lonely. I can't sleep and i feel like theres so much that I need to get done... my life seems to be moving so slow... I'm gonna contact my insurance company to see if they will help cover the lap band surgery that im gonna get. if not, then i'll have mammal cosign a loan for me...the total surgery cost is 15,000 bucks. its alot but it will be worth it. I like that girl Lisa but theres no way i could be with her... I feel like im in such a hurry to find someone now, that i'm settling... and i dont wanna settle. once i lose weight i will have alot easier time finding someone, and i wont havta settle. After all, I'm not ugly i'm just fat. Once the fat is gone, i wont be too bad at all, maybe even kinda hot. lol. I just need to wait and be patient... maybe when i stop looking for the right person, the right person will come along eventually. At least I hope so. In the meantime i'll just take care of myself and Seeley, do good at work and better in school... | | |
| Well, I'm all settled in in Orlando. I've got an interview tomorrow for a good job...it pays 13 bucks and hour. I really hope that I get the job... Seeley is almost 8 weeks old and is doing wonderful. I love him so much. He makes me really happy. I wished dogs lived as long as human. I mean you take care of them like a child but they only live like 15 or 16 years... It's really quite sad...  . I'm looking into getting a gastric bypass/gastric banding. I hope that works out. I'm really set on having it done. It would be great. I'm watching a lifetime movie right now. Its called Minis' first time. It's pretty good. Seeleys just sitn on the couch watching the movie like wtf? lmao. It's great. My computer was supposed to fixed but it's still fucking up, so I gotta go take it to be fixed (again) tomorrow. lol. Anyhow.... I guess i'll write later.  | | |
| I can't sleep. figure I might as well write.... I miss her so much. I hate it, cuz i dont miss her really, i miss what i wanted us to have, miss what i wish that she was, not what, in reality she actually was. I hate how everything reminds me of her and how every memory i have here, has her in it. I sorta just wish i could forget... But I really like Joey. ALOT. I admire her so much. She's such a strong person. Beautiful... and we want the same things... but i wanna take it slow. i can't have my heart broken again. cant handle that. I'm just healing from the last time. I hope she still likes me once she sees me. She'll prolly turn and run cuz im such a fat cow... i hope she doesn't. I hiope she still likes me and wants to see me. Mom and Jimmy got into a fight cuz they were both drunk. I hope he doesnt give Seeley away now outa spite. Hopefully he was drunk enough that he'll forget by tomorrow. Seeley has puppy worms but theyre given him prescription worm meds that the vet gave them. I love him so much... I can't wait to just go get him. So I should be in Florida be the 18th and i'm getn Seeley on the 20th in the afternoon then im takin him to his first vets app. In the morning on the 20th i gotta take my placement test for valencia, then i'll head for williston. I cant believe im really movin... i cant fuckin wait to just get down there! agh! i just wanna leave now! im going fuckin crazy up here! My body clock is off. I'm awake when im not s'posed to be and asleep when im s'posed to be awake.... i cant wait to get everything straightened out and be back to normal again... something i wrote... The points i've made... all seem moot now...Cuz i'm sittn here all alone without you now...I miss your smile, i miss your mouth, i even miss the way you peed when you laughed....and if i could go back and do it again, knowing the way that things would end.... I'd do it in a heartbeat, i'd do it in an instant, wouldn't want to have missed it... I can't regret the things that have happened, I cant dwell on what might have been... You've shown me there's more to life than just the country...Youve shown me there's more to love than just the lovely.... you've opened my eyes to the good and to the bad... and when its all said and done... You're the best i've ever had. | | |
| PACK TAKE PLACEMENT TEST
LOOK FOR JOB IN ORLANDO PAY BELDENS | | |
| I've cut so much lately, it's not even funny. and my blood is litarally like gel. it's like i've stopped bleeding. the one thing i could count on... | | |
|
|
